The 10 Tenets of Relationships as According to Dr. Matt Morris

Finances are important. Building wealth is important. At Plan Wisely, we deal with money and stocks and finance all day long. But you know what’s really, really important? Relationships.

Erik Garcia, CFP®, BFA welcomes longtime friend of the show Dr. Matt “The Relationship Doctor” Morris, a professor and relationship counselor, discuss 10 tenets of all kinds of relationships, from parents to siblings to spouses. Matt and Erik discuss trust, integrity, connection, and more in this extra-long episode of Stuff About Money.

Episode Highlights:

  • Matt explains why relationships are necessary. (11:40)
  • Matt discusses how desirable relationships are and how they add so much enjoyment and benefit to the quality of life. (14:49)
  • Matt mentions that relationships are refining and that they should be a life-growth mechanism that helps individuals become better versions of themselves. (19:48)
  • Matt discusses one of the essential aspects of relationship literacy which is reflecting on how relationships grow and change people. (25:13)
  • Matt explains that people must understand that relationships are challenging and difficult to maintain, but this does not mean that the relationship is not worthy. (26:58)
  • Matt discusses how relationships can be hard in a negative way, and how individuals must be able to differentiate between hard that’s normal, hard that’s good, hard that is refining, and hard that is toxic or traumatizing. (31:44)
  • Matt mentions that relationships have their own developmental course. (36:20)
  • Matt believes that, from the standpoint of relationship literacy, relationships today may grow or change. (39:31)
  • Matt discusses some causes and resolutions for relationships that function on repeated patterns. (41:37)
  • Matt explains that relationships should feel safe and secure enough that people turn to them when we’re not at our best. (47:36)
  • Matt believes that relationships should be adventurous and thrilling and should be inspiring us to go out and accomplish. (59:15)
  • Matt explains that relationships should have the integrity to allow people to be themselves. (1:06:58)
  • Matt explains that relationships are sacrifices that require people to be aware of the needs of others. (1:17:28) 

Dr. Matt’s 10 Tenets of Relationship Literacy:

1. Relationships are necessary

2. Relationships are desirable

3. Relationships are refining

4. Relationships are hard

5. Relationships develop

6. Relationships function on repeated patterns

7. Relationships should feel secure

8. Relationships should be inspiring

9. Relationships require trust

10. Relationships are sacrificial

Key Quotes:

  • “Relationships are hard. They’re wonderful and hard. Sometimes wonderfully hard, and sometimes, hardly wonderful.” – Dr. Matt Morris, LPC, LMFT
  • “Relationships should feel safe and secure enough that we turn toward them when we’re not feeling our best, when we either need to rest, when we need to take a break, when we need to recuperate from something.” – Dr. Matt Morris, LPC, LMFT
  • “None of us can control everything or predict the future and who knows how one person or my story is going to unfold. But relationships are part of the human story. Certainly part of the human experience. Relationships are all around us.” – Dr. Matt Morris, LPC, LMFT

Resources Mentioned:

About Erik Garcia

Hi there, I'm Erik. How you manage your money and other resources impacts practically every aspect of your life. I help individuals and families invest plan for a more secure and predictable financial future. Thanks for taking time on my site!

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